Anime Confessions - Guts
by yoshi3000
Summary: Remember Video Game Confessions? If there's a place for video game characters to get a drink, there's one for anime characters. Ryo, the bartender, handles all kinds of characters. Ryo helps Guts set up vacations plans for the swordsman, when they're interrupted by a certain emo. Saskue Bashing (Warning, a bit of a political satire) (Confession no.7) T for swears and violence.


_The following is a bit of a take on Video Game Confessions which belongs to the comedic genius of Doug Walker of Channel Awesome. Berserk belongs to Kentaro Miura And to make this more fun to you the reader, I suggest putting on the theme from Video Game Confessions ( /watch?v=tCrrZ1NnCuM )_

 _Shout out to all who voted for Guts! Thanks!_

Also keep up your support for Anime Confessions, every episode starting from Panty and Stocking well slowly reveal secrets about our bartender. ;)

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 **Anime Confessions - Guts**

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 _You're introduced to a young man of African descent about 5'9'' with a lean frame. His hair spiked and black with eyes of light gray. He wears a typical outfit of a bartender for a fancy restaurant._

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 ** _"This is Ryo Nazo. Ryo works in the seven star restaurant known as the Tori Dragon Palace (which is two blocks away from the Pixel Palace). There, some of anime's most popular celebrities pop in to have a drink. Sometimes, they share stories, and even secrets. Because—as we all know—what the bartender hears is confidential... isn't it?"_**

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Guts

 **So I'm sitting here late at night at the bar, and in walks the toughest iron woobie I know, Guts. This guy's story is so fucked up, I dare not repeat. Everyone keeps their distance from the guy. The only people willing to socialize with him is the likes of Goku and Luffy. Well he comes in alone, sit downs, and I serve him the heavy stuff, Barcadi.**

 **"Hey Nazo, you know what I hate more than Griffith?" He asked me.**

 **I shook my head no in confusion.**

 **"I. hate. Emos." He said in a low tone. "And I also detest emo fangirls. I'm stuck with so many painting me as some emo bitch. Those fangirls did that to Griffith and he's somehow seen as above good or evil!"**

 **"Fandoms can a total pain in the ass, Guts." I said bemoaning the amount the crap art I had seen on the likes of deviantART.**

 **"I get hooked with backstabbing asshole, and there's plenty doujins of us. There's only about 2 doujins of me and Casca!" Guts fumed.**

 **I actually looked it up on my phone, there really are only two. Then he explained how he felt his story was endless as he just kept losing people.**

 **"Casca doesn't want to talk to anyone and Griffith's an evil bastard. Even my new crewmates, I feel distant from. Are they going to ignore me or turn on me? I can't trust anyone even less then when I was a…child." Guts said before cutting himself off.**

 **"I…don't know what to say, expect buck up. I truly suggest taking a break from the series for a bit. Go on vacation for your health. You're badass, yes, but you need your sanity. For my sake and for your fans' sake, take a long breather." I insisted.**

 **"Maybe your ri—" was what Guts was about to say before somebody smashed open the door to the bar. Ugh! It was Saskue Uchiha and he was a bit drunk. He was screaming about the election and how Trump'll kick Naruto's ass. He reminded me of that freaking election that I was trying to forget! Seeing me, Saskue comes up here to kill me apparently. He's pissed I banned him and his brethren from coming here.**

 **"You will lift that ban, Nazo." Saskue said with his Sharingan eye swirling at me.**

 **Now I was ready to throw down and kick his ass when Guts got in the way of us.**

 **"Back off, Prince Emo. We were talking." Guts said crossing his arms.**

 **Saskue shoved Guts to the ground and said, "Don't talk to me, you low-class fifth. I am an Uchiha Elite!"**

 **Big mistake. Guts gets up and slams the duck butt into the counter where I give him a good Solar Flare to blind his eyes. Saskue screamed for his eyes as Gut threw him out with the window. Guts picked up Dragonslayer and Saskue came in running with a Chidori in hand. Guts slices Saskue's arm off which leaves him without arms at all considering Naruto ruined his other arm. For me, I was smiling and took the initiative to call the cops. As he was being led away, Guts was prepping to leave.**

 **"About that vacation? Know a good place to visit." He asked me.**

 **"I'd recommend Cyllage City, Cerulean City, and Conton City. The last one's got a battle zone for you to spar, but I recommend not using that OP sword of yours. You might kill them." I say sheepishly.**

 **He gives me a wink and he left. He's actually on vacation right now as we speak. He's probably having a blast and getting into fights. Heh. As for Saskue, Trump pardoned him. And they said Hilary could beat him….should have been Sanders.**

 ** _You see a lot of strange things as a bartender, see a lot strange things at the Tori Dragon. So, I see a lot of strange things as a bartender at the Tori Dragon, and that isn't no lie. Swear to it!_**

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(A/N: This one is rather short mostly because I felt sick reading Gut's backstory that I had to make this a bit comedic. Berserk is just that dark that it's sickening. Yet, it's story is to compelling. One of the voters suggested to have Saskue show up, and to complete the trifecta with Election 2016 humor. This was written the day after Election day, it's my way of coping. Final Edit 10/13/17)


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